To a certain degree, I believe genetic makeup plays a part in obesity. My great-grandmother, my grandmother and my mother were all fat women. Growing up in an italian family that idolized food and also used food for comfort the way that mine did is also a strong influence, perhaps even playing a much greater role in my ability to become a fat woman when I became a mother too. Yes, you read that right. I said ability.
The definition of ability is: Source: http://dictionary.com
1. power or capacity to do or act physically, mentally....
2. competence in an activity or occupation because of one's skill, training....
Trained, competent, and qualified to be fat! I've got to be kidding, right? Nope! Getting down to the nitty gritty as to how and why I honestly acquired my ability to not only become fat but stay fat from age 21 - 52 can be summed up in one adult word - CHOICE.
I was not a fat child. Big bones and muscular were terms used to describe my stature. Either way, I didn't have as many choices as I have as an adult. Becoming and staying fat for over 30 years was a lifestyle choice I made every time I didn't eat right, didn't exercise right and didn't take good care of myself in a mulitude of other ways. Let's just cut to the chase here and say I got it wrong more times than I got it right. Just look at my starting weight, 294 pounds!
As a kid I remember my family cooking very fresh, homemade foods. My grandmother made homemade bread and we didn't have Ragu in a jar tomatoe sauce back then. My family shopped mostly at an italian market where they would buy pasta in the shape of shells, curly pasta, stringy pasta all with their own pasta names; Linguini, Vermicelli, Rigatoni, Lasagna, Fettucine, Ravioli, and of course Spaghetti. Wedges of Romano cheese the butcher finely grated, lots of strung together sausages, ricotta, mozerrella, and provelone cheese along with different varieties of salami and other italian cold cuts was what I grew up on.
On special occasions my mom would make fancy italian pastries, creme puffs, and christmas cookies. One of my uncles made italian rum birthday cakes. I remember how I always used to try to talk my cousins into letting me have the nuts from their piece of cake. hehehee...sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't. LOL. I always felt like a nut. But as a child, I never snuck around to secretly eat food. I was too interested in being outdoors riding my bike or playing games in the street with my cousins. Infact I often found it very annoying to be called in for dinner because having to go in to eat interrupted my playtime.
About the only thing I wouldn't eat was eggplant, brussel sprouts and the greens, that my mom called broccoli (only it wasn't broccoli) that her, my grandmother and my aunts would pick in the fields along the side the roads we traveled on.
My parents, my brother and I lived with my grandparents (my mom's parents). You would think growing up in a large family with lots of cousins to play with would be fun, right? I suppose it had its moments, but living in such chaos never gave me a sense that I had my own family or that we lived in a house I could call my home.
I had a rough time trying to fit in at school. (long story about being placed in the wrong grade) There's really only so much you can try to blame on your past though and it doesn't work that well for solving anything anyway. Some things are easier to move away from when you grow up and some things are core issues that you have to chip away at a little at a time. I think what used to bother me the most, is seeing how my mom seemed to have food-on-the-brain. My dad was an alcoholic, and I am sure it must have been very hard on her. It was hard on my brother and I too. I remember how my brother and I would have to sit crouched down in the backseat of the car with our coats on waiting late at night in the dark parking lot behind the bar while my mom went looking for my dad.
For the most part, she kept my brother and I away from him which wasn't hard to do since he didn't seem to want to be around her family at all anyway. But, I really didn't like having to hear him be called the stinken drunk. But those were the type of things my mom and my aunts used to talk about. They'd all sit around the diningroom table, eating and talking about their rotten husbands all day long! I used to think that if we could just have our own house my dad wouldn't hide away all the time like he did.
My dad died from cirrhosis of the liver in 1986. I made it a point to wear white to his funeral because to me white represents peace. I also placed a cloth scarf in his casket that I stamped my handprints onto along with writing a message that read "I always wanted to hold hands with you." I tear up everytime I think of that because I would have liked to get to know my dad. I wanted to be his "little princess." I just never knew how to go about it.
As a kid, I often day-dreamed about having my own family and living in a house with a white picket fence. I'd go down to the park, sit on the bench and just watch how mothers and fathers interacted with eachother and their kids. I also liked watching TV shows like "Make Room for Danny," "Father Knows Best," and "The Donna Reed show." I think I was just trying to learn as much as I could so I could be a good wife and mother when I grew up. No wonder my husband sometimes tells me that I live in a fantasy world. I think I spent most of my life searching to try and find out what was real and was wasn't. Sometimes even when I found the truth I would questioned it. Once something makes sense to me though, I usually can put it in my pocket. It took me being an adult for a long time before I realized that it's okay to just let certain things go and just concentrate on living my authentic life now.
I weighed 140 lbs on my wedding day, blossomed into the 200's during my first pregnancy and after 4 kids settled in at around 250 give or take 20. I prided myself on being Supermom. For some reason though, I could never seem to get the food thing right. Food confused me. Gaining weight confused me. It was like I had a mental block about food. I wasn't the typical milk and cookies mom. I was more of an open-a-can cook. I just didn't like being in the kitchen. I made very simple meals. I often also just went to a fast food place and brought dinner home. Pizza was always a great choice cause I could just have that delivered. If it wasn't for visits to grandma's house my kids wouldn't have known what a homecooked meal looked like.
Even though I was uncomfortable being the fat mom I rarely did anything about it. I just couldn't buy into the fact that I had food-on-the-brain like everyone else so a lot of diet programs didn't appeal to me. However, I did go on some. I did great on optifast. I even got down to 199 for a day. But, when I had to graduate from drinking only the shakes to eating food again that chicken leg made me gain all the weight I had lost back, plus more! I tried the critter-pee shots. I think I ate green apples on that plan but it went sour so fast that I can't remember.
What I needed was to learn how to eat properly if I was going to make any headway at all. So I tried to go the normal route by paying weight watchers to weigh-in on their scale. That darn scale just was not my friend. It didn't seem to matter if I used the bathroom before I weighed in, took my jewelry off, or wore flip flops. I must have joined and quit that program over 30 times. After about my 24th try, though, I was starting to get the feeling that maybe the reason why I kept failing was because I was a nutcase!
I finally just went to OA. I am sure there must be a plaque with my name on it gracing the overeaters anonymous wall of shame that states
"Hello, my name is Elaine and I am NOT a compulsive overeater!" Thinking of myself as a compulsive overeater was just something I could never admit to being.
Looking in the mirror was a little weird for me too. I couldn't make the connection to being the person I was seeing in the mirror because my insides just didn't match this outside figure. I was under the false impression that I carried my weight well. In fact, my husband never seemed to notice how fat I was either. Today, looking at my before photos, he tells me that he just never saw me like that. Sound familiar? Kind of reminds me of the movie "Shallow Hal."
I've owned a website hosting and design business for the past 10 years that keeps me on the computer, A LOT. My daily routine used to be to get up, sit at the computer drinking coffee with a ton of sugar and milk in it and eating toast with butter on it the entire day, sometimes into the night, working non-stop. When dinner time rolled around we would order fast food. Eating one bite of food after going all day without eating triggered me to become ravishingly hungry. I couldn't shove the food down my throat fast enough. Having that kind of system really packed on the pounds...seemingly overnight.
I think a lot of times I used my business to try and find new purpose in my life. My children were mostly grown by then and I think I was going through a little bit of the empty nest syndrome. Honestly, I found it rather easy for me to console myself with food. I remember how out of anger, frustration, disappointment or just really any difficult emotional time I was having, I found myself at the corner market buying candy bars and ice cream. I ate the kid's Twinkies and I sometimes found myself making extra macaroni and cheese because I certainly didn't want to feel guilty about eating theirs. Certain foods seemed to ease certain pains and soothe certain hurts better than others. I got pretty good at classifying certain foods as good enough to be my "drug of choice" foods for certain situations. hummmm....maybe I "used" more than I realize because I sure kept myself fat for a lot of years!
I was not looking for another diet to go on when I saw the 6WBMO infomercial. On the infomercial I recognized Michael Thurman from the TV show Extreme Makeover. The "Eat more, exercise less to lose weight" part didn't WOW me. However, the part about "changing your metabolism," now that sparked my interest! Someone finally understood that you didn't have to have food-on-the-brain to be fat. I needed to find out what the secret to stoking my metabolism was. Guarantee or no guarantee I didn't care. I was only going to order the kit if I could be certain that once I lost the weight it would stay off.
I went to the Provida.com website and read success story after success story. I also went into several threads within the forum and read about people who were still doing the plan. People were saying that this plan was different than any diet they had ever been on before. Infact, many said they didn't feel like they were on a diet at all. They talked about how they were changing their lifestyle.
So, I ordered the kit and when it arrived, I literally tore open the packaging like a kid opening the best Christmas present ever! It was May 22, 2004. By Christmas I was almost in onderland. January 1, 2005 was the first New Year's that I celebrated without making a New Year's resolution to lose weight. Within 11 months I was sporting a 100 pound avatar. My weight loss progress slowed down quite a bit after losing that initial 100 pounds but I just kept workin' at it along with coming to terms with the kind of lifestyle I want!
All the what's my goal games I played really have been quite comical at times. Frustrating as heck, but I just gotta laugh about some of them. Wanting to lose half my body weight and size was my original goal. That put me at 147. I reached that goal on September 25, 2006. I had my sights set on having a 150 pound avatar for the longest time after figuring out that I'd only have to lose 3 more pounds to get it. But, you know, I see no glory in bragging about losing 150 pounds. Get a grip! My latest thaaaag was to just get my belly into the size 6 designer swan jeans that I bought because I really want to feel as though they fit well. I've got them on, but they aren't fully zipped or buttoned. The size small jacket is still a little too snug too. So, I'm still working on fine tuning a few areas right now. But my oh my, I sure have come a long way!
Mentally I believe I've been at goal for quite some time. Achieving the number on the scale just makes it more official now. But, you know, there really is no journey's end. I'm honestly learning that it's not about the number on the scale. It's not even about what size jeans I can wear. Measurable goals will keep me on track but what I am finding most important to me now is truly living a "New Normal" lifestyle. My partner in crime, BonnieLu aka...Tinky Del Valle, started a thread on the Provida.com website under the Motivational Support section titled:
New Normal...a lifetime journey. It's really proving to be a wonderful addition to this support forum community.
LINK TO THREAD: http://forums.provida.com/forums/ShowThread.aspx?PostID=1858935 I have finally come to terms with the fact that "society normal" isn't something I want anymore. I'm working on creating a new kind of normal now. One that affords me the benefits of living a healthy, active life that makes sense. I use many of the skills I have acquired from being on the Michael Thurman 6 Week Body Makeover plan. Skills like learning how to shop, how to cook, and how to order at a restaurant. It takes guts, perserverance and a whole lot of support to lose weight let alone the amount of weight I have had to lose. This is a very simple plan to follow, but it's not always easy.
I admire those that have stayed 100% POP (Perfectly On Plan). It just wasn't always in the cards for me. My journey turned out to be a little more like my long and winding road on the straight and narrow path. As best as I could, I tried not to blame others or make excuses. I've concentrated my efforts on learning to take responsibility for my actions, own up to my weaknesses, and recognize as well as acknowledge with a big ole "OH YEAH" my strengths.
When I think of how I used to bring platters of food to parties I attended it cracks me up to realize the extreme lengths I went to in order to stay on plan. I'd tell the hostess things like, "I thought everyone might like to try this. It's from a recipe I just got." BS! I brought what I brought so I could have something to eat there too. I got wise after awhile though by making sure I got in line first. Amazing how the "good stuff" got wiped out faster than the junk food on the table.
I've lied my way through the security gates of events that don't usually allow you to take food in. Saying I have a medical condition usually worked pretty well. Having to resort to such tactics has been embarressing at times. It was sometimes annoying to have to plan for and pre-cook some of my meals. It was also inconvenient to eat on time sometimes. I used to feel like a food junkie needing to carry my fix around with me when I had to pack food to take with me if I was going to be gone for more than 3 hours. It was hard to pass by, pass up and pass out foods that I would not allow myself to eat because I was afraid to stimulate a craving I may not be able to control if I were to indulge by having just one bite.
Once I was on the cusp of starting to feel as though NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS THIN FEELS I found myself being willing to go to any lengths to keep feeling this way. Flying high on energy, seeing bones I never knew I had emerge, receiving so much support from the true friends I have met on here, learning about nutrition and cooking are all things that I was introduced to via this plan.
I honestly believe that the 6WBMO is the best foundation to start to build an active, healthy lifestyle on. The kit, along with the support received through the member's forum, is second to none. As far as being receptive, I honestly believe that the 6WBMO treats those that are willing to treat themselves well. I learned how beneficial it was for me to put my oxygen mask on first. Taking care of my needs is not selfish. It actually allows me to care for others better. I also learned how to stick up for myself and I gained the respect that I deserve by doing so. I had to learn how to make choices that weren't always easy to make. The plan is doable but I had to be willing to learn how to make it fit into my life.
You know, when you start taking care of yourself people do notice. My family, even when I didn't realize they were looking saw me making lifestyle changes. I never really wanted to make a big deal about the food thing with them when I was fat or while I was losing this weight because I didn't want them to have food issues like I did. Today, I love it when they do something to make me realize that the example that I set regarding eating healthy, even though I didn't start doing it until later in life, they got the message. Plus, I really love having my husband notice what I look like now and I'm happy to say that I'm proud to be the woman that I am.
For the past 28 months I've made weight loss my priority. Everyone tells me, now is when the hard part begins...maintenance. I just don't see it that way...and I really hope I don't have to eat those words. I have learned so much, so I'm banking on that. I've got my New Normal priorities to keep me busy now, and there's just no time to focus on the negative.
I saw this quote posted in someone's signature that I think speaks volumes.
"There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstances permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results."
I have never had to rely on my willpower to do it. If I had to do that, I don't think I would have survived. Instead I listened to the wisdom that Marilyn120 shared with me. I held onto her words of wisdom, CONSISTENCY OVER TIME topping the list. She also said something else that I held onto for dear life. I can't even tell you what an impact her saying "I believe in you" has meant to me. It just doesn't get any better than that!
When I was having a difficult time physically doing the cardio Tray (bunnie) helped me understand the difference between good, better and best. I started with good and worked my way up to being the best that I could. As a matter of fact, who would have thought I was destined to become a Certified Personal Trainer! Too cool! Jaci (willlosetoo) befriended me and we became like sisters. Sharon (wywy) sends me such sweet Private Messages that just seem to give me that little boost when I need it. Gosh, there are so many people that I have gained so much insight from. I know I can always count on BMOS Dolores (Body Make Over Specialist) to come to my rescue and it's woman like Peg (dapeg)who help me learn how to bring it all home. I can't imagine what it would have been like without having 100% POP role models like JC (Lady in LA). I've walked away with lessons such as; SEE IT! BELIEVE IT! DO IT! BE IT!, learned in the CBK duckie pond. And today I am a Swan! And you know what? Bonnie says, "The wonderful thing about swans is they always look so elegant... never look out of control... but underneath... they are paddling as fast as they can." Semantics! I've had the opportunity to get philosophical with Pam (cattpam) and I just love all the spa treatment recipes she has on her thread. And, deal or no deal I couldn't have done this without Tara (tskell).
I feel honored to have been given an early bird special when I asked to join the Skinny Minnie thread before I reached my goal. Having these ladies take me under their wings to prepare me for Living Lean has just been awesome. I could go on and on about the support I have received from so many people. It truly does take a mountain of people to help you accomplish things beyond your wildest dreams. This is one of those things for me. You ALL are one of those people.
I thought it would be fun and hopefully it will be beneficial as well, for me to show you some highlights from my journey. I went through and captured a few of the posts that I've written and I also took some writings and photos from my journal. I probably will continue to add more as time goes on but I'd like to just begin this by saying, "Hello. My name is Elaine Lombardi, and I am a weight loss success story."
BEGINNING STATS
May 22, 2004
Weight 294
Inches 398
Body fat 54%
GOAL STATS
September 25, 2006
Weight 146.2
Inches 277
Body fat 23.5%
Total weight lost 147.8 pounds
Total inches lost 121"
Total body fat lost 20.5%
Total time it took 28 months
HIGHLIGHTS OF MY JOURNEY
LINK TO WEBSITE: http://www.etobeme.com Battle of the Bulge 
I LOST HALF MY BODY WEIGHT AND SIZE!!!
ADDED: October 2, 2006 Alright...as if this isn't long enough already...just bare with me. I really want to add this to my story.
It took me a couple of days for this to sink in but I see it so clearly now. First of all, let me say that being at goal feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders...well DUH...I was carrying a heavy load. But I wasn't just carrying weight, I was carrying around the weight of my little world around.
Everything that I didn't know how to handle I just kept tucked away inside myself for safe keeping because I wanted to be able to someday understand why certain things bothered me, because surely they must be significant for them to have that affect on me.
So I waited and waited until the right time to open each little locked box I had stored inside myself. The interesting thing is that I never felt inadequate. I may not have known how to deal with certain things in the moment but I never let that fact discourage me. I had one thing going for me. I held on to it and I protected it because it was the only thing that I knew I had for sure. My swan spirit. I say swan spirit because that's exactly what it is.
When I was in the 1st grade, I painted a fingerpainting of a swan. I had written about it back in 2004 shortly after I started this plan. The interesting thing is that I had written it before I joined the CBK thread. I didn't even realize how significant the duckie and swan thing that they've got going on over on the CBK thread was to me because I totally forgot about my 1st grade swan fingerpainting. I'm actually very grateful today to have been given the opportunity to work out a lot of stuff by belonging to that thread.
Anyway, when I went back into my journal to grab some stuff to highlight my journey on the website I put together for it, when I came across what I wrote about the swan fingerpainting, OMG, it just finally all clicked. For me, the swan represents my unbroken spirit.
I know how to tap into it. When I am in my swan zone, this is the real me. The way it's supposed to be for me. The vibrant spirit that I always knew I had. Bonnie mentioned that I seemed somewhat guarded at times. As though I was protecting something. She is very perceptive and also absolutely right.
The reason that the fingerpainting was so signifcant was because I have always been about color. It's a talent that I have. My 1st grade teacher told me that she has never seen anyone mix primary colors to make secondary colors the way that I did. I just saw a color and knew exactly what colors to use to make it with paint. It was as if I could see each color separately in that secondary color. Anyway, when my mom wouldn't allow my fingerpainting to stay up on the bulletin board it made me feel as though she didn't approve of me. I wasn't willing to give it up, so ever since that time I just kept that part of me inside myself, that way, no one that I didn't trust fully would have a chance to break my spirit.
I was a quiet kid. Always kept myself mostly in the shadows. I thought for the longest time that what happened to me after that, in 2nd grade was my core issue. It added to it, but I see now exactly when I shut down. So not recognizing myself in the mirror had so much to do with me not seeing my true spirit that I had hidden away behind all those layers of fat.
Seeing myself thin now the way I always believed I was supposed to look, even though I have a few wrinkles...LOL...the face, the eyes, and even the belly that still needs a little more work, this figure matches the real me that I have been wanting to show the world because what I needed most of all, was to just be allowed to be authentic.
Thank you for making me feel so comfortable now about sharing this. I guess it's true what they say, the truth will set you free.
Oh, just one more thing...
A very interesting thing that I discovered while waiting for the goal fireworks to arrive. There are no fireworks coming. Why? Because there is nothing different about me to celebrate. I was already here this whole time...my whole life...I was right here where I am today. I am not different. I am me. Things in life may change, but I will always be the same me that I always was.
UNBROKEN SPIRITOMG!
My swan jeans totally button and zip!
I am so wearing these today.
WOO HOO!!!
Updated: October 7 - 12
Bob Cooley (pictured with me) is the author of The Genius of Flexibility. I just spent the last 6 days in workshops he taught which is the first step towards my becoming certified to become a meridian stretching practitioner. It's quite a process, but I am definitely pursuing it. I can't tell you what an honor it was to have had the opportunity to be trained by him. Literally gives me goosebumps when I think about the impact his work is going to have on the world! In fact, if you ask me, I think he's going to become known as the Albert Einstein in this field because what he developed no one has taken to this level before. I told him today that I predict his work will one day be referred to as Central Medicine. So amazing. He has two more books coming out which he also incorporated into the workshops I attended. He is also involved in some pretty cool global warming projects and oh my gosh, just so many things that just blow my mind.
BOOK LINK:
The Genius of Flexibility: The Smart Way to Stretch and Strengthen Your Body 
All it take's is a little bit of magic! UPDATE: October 27, 2006 I dedicate this update to Marilyn and Bonnie.
Marilyn (Marilyn120) I am wearing the size 6 high-rise black pants you gave me. I always knew you had the magic touch. Thanks for waving your magic wand at me.
Bonnie (BonnieLu) I am wearing the magic shoes you gave me. It's friendships like ours that make all the difference in this magical new normal world we live in.
Center photo is of me in a pair of size 6 dark blue SWAN JEANS!!!
I HAVE ARRIVED!
Magic Shoes - SWAN JEANS - Magic Pants
150 POUNDS GONE!!!
SITE-WIDE CHALLENGES If for some reason you missed getting in on any of the challenges it's not to late. I have them all listed on page 12 post #240. SKIPPING FOR YOUR SUCCESS CHALLENGE: October 2 - October 4
I CHALLENGED EVERYONE to skip for every pound that they have lost so far.
CHALLENGE RESULTS: 13390 Total Skips Reported
In celebration we had a balloon launch and held a 6WBMO party along with handing out a prize icon to all the skippers to display in their signature.
Prize Icon:
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Balloon Release and Party starting on page 8 of this thread.
October 9th - October 13th
Exercise in the name of supporting those that you want to send energy vibes to.
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October 16th - October 20th
Ask for some exercise help to expand your knowledge.
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October 23rd - October 30th
This week's challenge was to switch it up. When we do the same exercise the same way over and over again, our body gets very good at it, which may sound great, but a weight loss plateau caused by adaptation is no fun. To switch it up use what fitness professionals refer to as the
F.I.T.T principle.
F: Frequency is the number of times you exercise each week.
I: Intensity is how hard you are working while you are exercising.
T: Time is the total amount of time that is spent exercising in one session.
T: Type is the type of exercise you are doing.
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If you participated in all 4 challenges and you want to save some space in your signature you can simply copy and paste all 4 of these icons as one image.
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