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Re: Scared to fail--need a buddy
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6/18/2009 3:30:31 AM
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LTD
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A
Body Type:
A
Smart Behavior:
Emotional Eater
Start Weight:
254.2
Current Weight:
254.2
Goal Weight:
140
Posts: 447
Joined: 7/7/2007
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A Little Imagination Can Boost Your MotivationBuilding a Better Body Image
-- By Dean Anderson, Behavioral Psychology Expert
SparkPeople Sponsors help keep the site free! 
If this sounds like something you say to yourself, I’ve got good news for you. There probably isn't anything seriously wrong with you. You have a very common problem that affects many people who want to lose weight—expecting your negative feelings about your body to do something they can’t do.
The motivation you need to successfully lose weight is like a fire. It will burn hot and long when you provide it with the fuel it needs, but it will die out quickly if you don’t. Disliking how you look and feel might provide decent kindling to get the weight-loss fire started, but it's not the proper fuel source to keep it going.
When you’re driven by negative thoughts about yourself, you just don’t have the raw materials that are necessary to achieve the results you want. This problem lies in how our minds work. If I were to tell you, for example, that I'll give you $1,000 if you can manage to not let the thought of "chocolate" enter your mind during the next 60 seconds, do you think my bank balance would be in big trouble? I don’t. It’s certain that some of your next few thoughts would have something to do with chocolate. Most likely, you’ll wonder how you can stop yourself from thinking about chocolate for 60 seconds—oops, too late! You lose, and my $1000 stays safely in my bank account. It’s virtually impossible to not think about something for a minute, when that’s what you set out to do. Try it for yourself.
The same thing happens when you set out to lose weight because you don’t like your body. The first thing you’re likely to do every morning is notice how fat you still are, think about the food you can’t eat, or lie in bed, wishing you didn’t have to get up early to exercise. You might as well throw a big bucket of ice water on that motivational fire of yours, because sooner or later, you’re going to get very weary of this constant struggle and give up.
So, what’s the alternative? What do you do if the reason you want to lose weight is because you don’t like the way you look or feel? Where do you find the right fuel for your motivational fire?
Use your imagination.
Imagination: More Important than Will Power
One thing that it’s crucial to understand is that being overweight isn’t the cause of your unhappiness, and simply weighing less won't make you feel better about yourself and your life. It’s all the things you think about your body that make you unhappy, and it’s changing those thoughts that will make you feel better and help you lose weight.
Think about it. Imagine you live in a society where people find thinness repulsive and being fat is the marker of beauty, desirability, and good character. Everywhere you look, there are images of happy fat people wearing the best clothes, driving the best cars, getting the hot dates, and landing the best jobs. Would you still feel bad about yourself? Would you still feel like you have to lose weight in order to get what you want and need in life? Probably not. Even if you still felt bad about yourself, you wouldn't be focused on your weight, but rather on something else that your culture didn’t like—the size of your feet, or the slope of your nose, for example.
But we do live in a society that confronts us with very negative messages about being fat. Most of us start absorbing these messages as we are just learning to talk, and they soon become a big part of how we view and evaluate ourselves, explain the things that happen to us, and decide what needs to change if we want to feel and do better.
And sadly, it usually isn’t enough to simply recognize that "fat-loathing" is just a cultural prejudice you can choose to reject. You have to replace it with something equally as powerful, and that’s hard to come by after years of being conditioned to hate your own body. For many, the idea of accepting yourself and loving yourself sounds good, but it just doesn’t have the same emotional force that your negative self-image does. So you find yourself being pulled back to that negative image over and over again, and remaining stuck in the motivational problems it causes.
But you can use your imagination to break the power of your negative self-image and replace it with something equally powerful. Here are some suggestions:
Imagine that your negative body image isn’t really yours. Imagine someone else planted it in your head to keep you trapped in an endless quest for a better body. Imagine who this "someone else" is and why they’ve done this. You could imagine, for example, that a secret group of very rich and powerful people use the media, fashion and advertising industries to convince people that they need to be thin, hard-bodied, and youthful to be happy, so they’ll keep buying diet books, magazines and gimmicks. Whatever story you come up with, create one that makes you feel angry that someone else could take advantage of you this way.
Imagine that the negative body image implanted in your brain has suddenly been removed. You wake up one morning, look in the mirror, and don’t have any reactions at all. You know how you used to react and why, but realize that all those old feelings and thoughts weren’t yours. Imagine that you’re very determined not to let them back in again. What are your real feelings and thoughts about your body? Take some time to look yourself over thoroughly, touch your skin, move around, notice all the sensations you’re experiencing, and so on. Spend a few days going through your regular routines—getting dressed, eating, working, exercising, and all the other things you do—paying close attention to what your body is doing at each moment and how it feels. Take notes, if you want to.
After a few days, sit down and try to express in words how you feel about your body. What can it do, or not do? Which of those things make you feel good and give you pleasure, and which don’t? Are there any things you’d like to be doing more or less of, based on how they make you feel?
By completing an exercise like this, you will discover the feelings, thoughts and beliefs that will provide the best fuel to keep your motivational fire burning. You will get out of your head (and away from its “programmed” image of your body), and into your actual body with an open mind. You will learn what your body needs and wants, what it is capable of doing, and what it can tell you about how to make choices and take actions that are satisfying and rewarding.
You may be surprised to find out how easy it becomes to exercise regularly, eat well, and reach a healthy weight when you stop treating your amazing body as the problem, and start using it as the solution. Article created on: 5/29/2007
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Lord Bless
Cheryl
Isaiah 40:31 But they that wait
upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with
wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk,
and not faint.
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Post #401
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Re: Scared to fail--need a buddy
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6/18/2009 3:57:32 AM
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LTD
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A
Body Type:
A
Smart Behavior:
Emotional Eater
Start Weight:
254.2
Current Weight:
254.2
Goal Weight:
140
Posts: 447
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status:
offline
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June 17, 2009
Quote of the Day
"The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself. It is not in your environment, it is not in luck or chance, or the help of others; it is in yourself alone."
– Orison Swett Marden
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Lord Bless
Cheryl
Isaiah 40:31 But they that wait
upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with
wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk,
and not faint.
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Post #402
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Re: Scared to fail--need a buddy
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6/18/2009 11:01:47 AM
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MB7
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B
Body Type:
B
Smart Behavior:
Emotional Eater
Start Weight:
237
Current Weight:
229
Goal Weight:
135 - 140
Posts: 1356
Joined: 5/2/2005
Status:
offline
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Good Afternoon Ladies!
Cheryl, your Chicken pizza recipe sounds interesting. I may give it a try.
My should seems to be getting more movement in it, so it appears to be healing. I fell in my bathroom the other day on water my little girl had all over the floor and hit my should on the openned bathroom closet door, it feels like it is bruised but no other damage. It doesn't look bruised. My calf is another story, I have two large bruises on my left calf, but at least I didn't break anything. I should have known better and been more careful as i knew she just got out of the tub by herself and I should have expected the floor to be wet.
So far today I have had three meals done and all three were on program. I need to get off the computer and do some exercises now, so TTYL
Mary Beth
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Post #403
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Re: Scared to fail--need a buddy
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6/21/2009 8:09:35 PM
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emeggke
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A
Body Type:
A
Start Weight:
239
Current Weight:
238
Goal Weight:
135-140
Posts: 552
Joined: 4/25/2006
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Hi Ladies, Just stopping by to check in. Hope you are doing well. Cheryl?? How are you doing??? Mary Beth, did you finish the week as strongly as you started??? i'll be watching for a new avi for you tomorrow! Spent today resting. Did not feel well at all this morning, stayed home and watched movies and did some hand quilting. Tomorrow I will have to catch up on everything! See you in the am. Meg
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Post #404
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Re: Scared to fail--need a buddy
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6/22/2009 6:43:41 AM
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emeggke
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A
Body Type:
A
Start Weight:
239
Current Weight:
238
Goal Weight:
135-140
Posts: 552
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status:
offline
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Check in stats: 06-22-09
Name: emeggke/ meg
Weight:... 238
Weight loss:...2
Inches:... 371.5
Inches lost:... 0
Avatar:......No new avatar
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Post #405
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Re: Scared to fail--need a buddy
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6/22/2009 6:51:34 AM
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emeggke
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A
Body Type:
A
Start Weight:
239
Current Weight:
238
Goal Weight:
135-140
Posts: 552
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status:
offline
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Good Monday Morning Ladies. How are you??? Are you ready for a new week? I am excited that I lost 2 pounds last week, without really being on track. By next Monday I plan to have a new Avi! Still not feeling well, but my energy is a little higher today. am going to do my bands and try to get some housework done. It is hot and humid and we do not have air conditioning so I just try to take it a little at a time. It is going to be a quieter week here and I am looking forward to that. Well, better run. Hope to see both of you online here today! Meg
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Post #406
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Re: Scared to fail--need a buddy
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6/22/2009 12:26:50 PM
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MB7
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B
Body Type:
B
Smart Behavior:
Emotional Eater
Start Weight:
237
Current Weight:
229
Goal Weight:
135 - 140
Posts: 1356
Joined: 5/2/2005
Status:
offline
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 MB7: MB7:
Check in stats: 06-22-09
Name: MB7 / Mary Beth
Weight:... 223
Weight loss:...2.6
Inches:... 341
Inches lost:... 3
Avatar:......No new avatar
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Post #407
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Re: Scared to fail--need a buddy
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6/22/2009 12:30:25 PM
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MB7
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B
Body Type:
B
Smart Behavior:
Emotional Eater
Start Weight:
237
Current Weight:
229
Goal Weight:
135 - 140
Posts: 1356
Joined: 5/2/2005
Status:
offline
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Hi Meg,
I didn't do as well as I had hoped but at least it was a loss and I'll take the 2.6 pound loss any day. Congratulations on your 2 pound loss that is really good especially since your really didn't try that hard. I kind of got messed up over the weekend as we went out and picked up another horse and were in the car for over 7 hours going out to pick it up and back, so eating on the run is never good for you, plus yesterday was fathers day and I just didn't give it my all, so hopefully better this week.
Mary Beth
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Post #408
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Re: Scared to fail--need a buddy
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6/22/2009 2:57:03 PM
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emeggke
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A
Body Type:
A
Start Weight:
239
Current Weight:
238
Goal Weight:
135-140
Posts: 552
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status:
offline
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Hi Mary Beth, losing 2.6 pounds and 3 inches isn't too bad!!! What kind of new horse did you get? Cheryl????? Is your computer down again??? Miss you!! Hope all is well. It is very hot here... almost 90 and we don't have air conditioning so I'm not getting a lot done. It is going to be this way all week, so guess I'd better get used to it! Well.... not a lot tonight....... I'll check back later.
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Post #409
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Re: Scared to fail--need a buddy
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6/23/2009 4:20:17 AM
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MB7
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B
Body Type:
B
Smart Behavior:
Emotional Eater
Start Weight:
237
Current Weight:
229
Goal Weight:
135 - 140
Posts: 1356
Joined: 5/2/2005
Status:
offline
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Meg we bought a miniature horse. He is a light brown or cinnamon color and white. He is a gelding and pretty young yet. I have to try to measure him but I think he is around 34 to 36 inches tall. The kids love him. He is theirs to brush and groom and lead around and maybe ride but only with my youngest as the others are too heavy already. I may look into getting a cart for him to pull, I'm not sure yet.
It's really hot hear too. It's only 7:20 am and it's already 79 degrees.
TTYL
Mary Beth
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Post #410
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Re: Scared to fail--need a buddy
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6/23/2009 12:58:27 PM
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emeggke
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A
Body Type:
A
Start Weight:
239
Current Weight:
238
Goal Weight:
135-140
Posts: 552
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status:
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Mary Beth, my kids worked last summer with a lady who raises miniature ponies. One of them gave birth to a dwarf mini... he was so cute, about as big as my dog!! Have fun with it!
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Post #411
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Re: Scared to fail--need a buddy
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6/25/2009 11:22:13 AM
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MB7
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B
Body Type:
B
Smart Behavior:
Emotional Eater
Start Weight:
237
Current Weight:
229
Goal Weight:
135 - 140
Posts: 1356
Joined: 5/2/2005
Status:
offline
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I think I'm going to stop posting for the summer as it has really gotten busy around here with the kids home all day.
If you want to contact me please e-mail me.
Mary Beth
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Post #412
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Re: Scared to fail--need a buddy
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11/9/2009 8:51:47 AM
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LTD
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A
Body Type:
A
Smart Behavior:
Emotional Eater
Start Weight:
254.2
Current Weight:
254.2
Goal Weight:
140
Posts: 447
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status:
offline
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Well here it already Monday, November 9, 2009. I can't believe that I have ran away from this new lifestyle change again and again failed. I have learned that it's not only a physical lifestyle change but also a mental and emotional lifestyle change. I can honestly say that I was not mental or emotionally ready for the change. I am more now than before. I am human and I will probably make mistakes but I want to learn from those mistakes. I need this forum more than I thought would be possible but I also need friends who can help me learn the things I am or will mess up on. Okay well with that all said and done I weighed myself today. I truly did not think I was that huge yes I know that my clothes were in the huge section of the store but I guess I was hiding behind those clothes so not anymore. I want to post pictures here soon but have to wait till tonight or tomorrow have family take them. This will be something new for me for I truly don't like the way I look or feel. Okay enough of that I I have a trivia and a familiar bible verse to challenge you to doing and posting the answer. ************************************************************
Familiar Verse, Peculiar Order shaken are be a cannot kingdom receiving that we Let's Get Physical: The Anatomy Lesson (Part II) 1. Whose teeth are set on edge when the fathers eat sour grapes?? 2. In what place will people "gnash their teeth"? 3. Which king had a jealous eye?? 4. What would make the Israelites' ears tingle? 5. Who prayed to God that his eyes and ears would be open and attentive to the people's prayers? **************************************************************************
Have fun with these and I will post them at the end of the week (Saturday) unless you want them earlier. Remeber this we are winners Each day is a new day to seek the Lord and renew our fellowship. Lord Bless
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Lord Bless
Cheryl
Isaiah 40:31 But they that wait
upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with
wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk,
and not faint.
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Post #413
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Re: Scared to fail--need a buddy
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11/12/2009 5:00:03 AM
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LTD
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A
Body Type:
A
Smart Behavior:
Emotional Eater
Start Weight:
254.2
Current Weight:
254.2
Goal Weight:
140
Posts: 447
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status:
offline
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"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Isaiah 41:10
Good morning to each and everyone of you. I am sorry that I have not been on here lately been so busy that I sometimes feel like I am meeting myself at the door. I wanted to stop by today to see how everyone is doing. I am doing pretty well. It seems to me that the first week is hard because it's giving up lots of what I truly enjoy but I have overenjoyed and do not know how or when to stop and that is some of how I got to where I am today and plus I am an emotional eater.
Well I picked this verse today to remind myself that today is a new and I have the Lord to help me each moment of the day for I just need to call out his name and he is there. Does that mean I always feel him, no but it does mean that I can call out to him and talk to him.
I get so frustrated with myself for allowing myself to get to this size and weight that I sometimes feel doomed. Then I must remind myself that part of my life is over and here is a new beginning. New chapter, new verse and new lifestyle.
I do pray that each of you are having a wonderful Son filled day.
Lord Bless
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Lord Bless
Cheryl
Isaiah 40:31 But they that wait
upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with
wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk,
and not faint.
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Post #414
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Screen Name
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Re: Scared to fail--need a buddy
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11/20/2009 6:30:20 AM
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MB7
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B
Body Type:
B
Smart Behavior:
Emotional Eater
Start Weight:
237
Current Weight:
229
Goal Weight:
135 - 140
Posts: 1356
Joined: 5/2/2005
Status:
offline
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It's good to see you are trying again. Make it work this time for yourself and you will feel so much better.
Mary Beth
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Post #415
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Re: Scared to fail--need a buddy
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11/23/2009 5:28:37 AM
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LTD
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A
Body Type:
A
Smart Behavior:
Emotional Eater
Start Weight:
254.2
Current Weight:
254.2
Goal Weight:
140
Posts: 447
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status:
offline
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Praise the Lord....
I am coming here with a heaviness on my heart to say that I am going to stop posting here and go to the forum of Looking for Fellow Christians it's in the "A" forums. If anyone wants to start chatting on this forum again then please let me know for I would glad come back here to chat. Life is a struggle but with the Lord life is much easier and with fellowship life can be easier but Pray helps make it easier. May the Lord Truly bless each and everyone of you.
Lord Bless
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Lord Bless
Cheryl
Isaiah 40:31 But they that wait
upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with
wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk,
and not faint.
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Post #416
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Re: Scared to fail--need a buddy
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11/23/2009 3:47:36 PM
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MB7
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B
Body Type:
B
Smart Behavior:
Emotional Eater
Start Weight:
237
Current Weight:
229
Goal Weight:
135 - 140
Posts: 1356
Joined: 5/2/2005
Status:
offline
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I think that is a good idea to post on another forum that has more people involved. You will always be able to find someone to help motivate you. This forum was just too small. Good Luck Cheryl.
Mary Beth
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Post #417
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Re: Scared to fail--need a buddy
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11/29/2009 4:26:15 PM
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patti2009
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B
Body Type:
B
Start Weight:
247
Current Weight:
245.6
Goal Weight:
150
Posts: 28
Joined: 11/14/2009
Status:
offline
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Post #418
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Re: Scared to fail--need a buddy
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11/30/2009 7:32:04 AM
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LTD
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A
Body Type:
A
Smart Behavior:
Emotional Eater
Start Weight:
254.2
Current Weight:
254.2
Goal Weight:
140
Posts: 447
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status:
offline
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Good Morning Patti2009, it is so nice to see you here. Thank you for letting me know that it's okay to fail sometimes for I have failed many times and times over but through the blood I have been mercifully saved. I wanted to welcome you and to inform you of the following.... This is quite a small group in fact about only two people if that. I noticed that you are a type B. I know of a wonderful christian lady who also is a type B who use to post on this cord but no longer does her name is MB7 and she is on a thread called
So I do not know if you want to continue on this cord or if you want to go to this other cord. Also there is a wonderful cord that I have been posting since this one sort of went dead and it's full of all different christians it's called looking for fellow christians This is where I am currently at but I would come back here if that is what you would like. I am not trying to make you move from here but I just want to be honest with you and if you really are looking for lots of support lots of answers lots of fellowship then it might be worth looking into one of these other groups. I am praying that I do get to know you better and that I get to see more of your posts. Just let me know. Remember that you are a WINNER, you can do this.
Lord Bless Cheryl
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Lord Bless
Cheryl
Isaiah 40:31 But they that wait
upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with
wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk,
and not faint.
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Post #419
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Screen Name
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Re: Scared to fail--need a buddy
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11/30/2009 9:15:38 AM
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patti2009
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B
Body Type:
B
Start Weight:
247
Current Weight:
245.6
Goal Weight:
150
Posts: 28
Joined: 11/14/2009
Status:
offline
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Post #420
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